Say what you may about Brother Vader, the greatest cinema villain of all time, but there’s no denying he knew how to make a group of people listen to him. So without further ado, here are Darth Vader’s nine (tongue in cheek) tips for giving great sacrament meeting talks.

I want that ship, not excuses”


What, you were asked to give this talk 39 milliseconds ago? And you have that special unique fear of speaking. Well then, by all means take up your time with those complaints. But just remember Darth Vader isn’t interested in your excuses.

“You underestimate the power of the dark side”

You Underestimate

Yes we know you want to start your talk with a completely unrelated joke. But resist the dark side. Just look what happened to Anakin.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing”


Classic Vader. Once you start preparing your talks you have to move forward with faith, or else Vader will be very disappointed.

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