Missionary Humor

Well-dressed young men and women who learn foreign languages and travel the world—it sounds like something out of a James Bond movie, but it’s actually quite common in our Church.

And now that the dress and grooming guidelines for missionaries allow sunglasses, they fit the James Bond description more than ever before. In fact, here are 13 other people or groups that already wear the suits and shades—don’t confuse them with the missionaries!

The Men in Black

 

via GIPHY

Missionaries: Protecting the earth from the sins of the universe!

via GIPHY

Amen to that!

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“1500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know after you take the missionary discussions.” -Missionary K

The Blues Brothers

via giphy
via giphy

CIA, MI6, KGB, NSA

See the rest of these silly images at LDS Living.

Here are 50+ funny/embarrassing Japanese language mistakes LDS missionaries have made while serving a mission in Japan.

50+ Japanese Language Mistakes

  1. When asking for bread, I asked for “pan no mimisu.” (Should have been “pan no mimi.” So I asked for bread worms…I think. (Steve)
  2. Accidentally calling little babies and children ‘scary’ is something that frequently happens for new speakers of Japanese. That’s because the word for ‘cute’ is ‘kawaii’ and ‘scary’ is ‘kowai’. (Travis)
  3. Called a child Kowai so. (pitiful) instead of Kawaii so. (cute) (Craig)
  4. Nikkutai= physical body. Nekkutai= neck tie. Ninshin= pregnant. Nesshin= with conviction.  (Amaree)
  5. I got two words mixed up and told a family that my parents were growing illegal mango drugs in their backyard. (Baden)
  6. During the contacting process, instead of saying that they are volunteer activity performing missionaries, an elder said they were volunteer circumcision performing missionaries. Look it up. “Activity” and “circumcision” are similar when said. (Richard)
  7. One of my companion from Utah was telling someone about his family and he told that his grand-father had 20 “mushi” (mosquitoes), but he really meant to say ushi (cows). (Gabriel)
  8. “If you listen to the prophet, you’ll die.” That one still gets brought up at reunions. (Erica)
  9. The words for sweet bean paste (they put it in snacks or desserts) and poop are very similar, so a missionary meant to say they liked eating the sweet bean paste, but they accidentally said the other word. (Lacee)
  10. I told a man who answered the door that we were there to talk about the law of chastity. I meant to say the purpose of life. (James)
  11. I was teaching a lesson about the Word of Wisdom, and I explained that tea is bad for your books. (Paul)

See All 50+ Japanese Language Mistakes

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Ryan Hamilton: he’s a hilarious guy. He’s made the rounds on ConanThe Late Late Show, Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central, and Showtime and stands out as one of the rare comedians who doesn’t use profanity or vulgarity to get laughs.

And this stand-up guy who sticks to his LDS standards was recently featured onThe Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Check out his hilarious “Dear Gym” routine.

If you like comedy and can’t seem to find clean humor, Ryan Hamilton is a great place to start. Check him out!

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Maybe you don’t feel the same way about being the only one who doesn’t drink out of all your friends or work colleagues, but we think Ryan Hamilton nails it.

This video of Ryan Hamilton, an up and coming LDS comedian, keeps it clean as he talks about his face being way too happy for many social situations and the (add sarcasm) “joys” of being the only one of his friends who doesn’t drink.

Watch the whole thing for a good laugh, or just skip to 3:18 to hear the part about not drinking. 🙂

Image via Rude Tube YouTube Channel

“This is Jon Duane Perry, teaching his atheist bird Apollo some new tricks . . . I guess as long as Mormon missionaries don’t knock on the door, all should be fine.”

In case you haven’t guessed, all is not fine in this hilarious candid video from 2012, which features two poor missionaries whose teaching attempts are met with squawks and feathers! Let’s all pray for the missionaries out there who are feeling down because they have weeks full of knocking on atheist parrot doors.

Watch the entire report here:

 

 

Image via Google Street View

In case you missed the last post on Mormon Moments on Google Street View, check it out here.

A reflection of the Google Street Car in the window of the visitor’s center in Paris. (There used to be a great shot of missionaries conducting an open house here, but it’s gone.)

A missionary couple tends to the flowers at the Hyde Park Chapel Visitor’s Center in 2008:

If you’re ever in Folsum, California, you must get a picture of yourself reading the Book of Mormon at the crossroads of Reading and Mormon streets.

Read the full article at My Best LDS.

Recently, One Samoana posted a picture of two adorable Tongan toddlers, saying, “I’m sure these 2 Tongan cuties will become handsome Missionaries one day and spread the good word worldwide.” 

These toddlers quickly began capturing the heart of thousands across social media, getting over 8,000 likes and nearly 3,000 shares in just a matter of days.

While these little fellas might already be sharing the gospel in their own unique way today, we wanted to see if there were any other great pictures and memes of potential soon-to-be missionaries. Check out what we found:

Read the full article at LDS Living.

Image via Scott Assante

A few weeks ago, Nate Jensen came up with the clever idea for a parody of Disney Pixar’s “Inside Out,” only to create a hilarious anecdote for dating.

Jensen enlisted the help of his friends in the Provo YSA 26th ward to create the hilarious parody. The 11 minute video takes viewers inside the head of a young adult as he attempts dating.

Read the full article at LDS.net.